Hard-hitting seminar in Toronto focuses on the abuse of women (12/15/96)

Hard-hitting seminar in Toronto focuses on the abuse of women

by Andrij Kudla Wynnyckyj
Toronto Press Bureau

TORONTO - A hard-hitting half-day seminar hosted by the Ukrainian Canadian Social Services Toronto branch took aim at a social ill that wreaks havoc worldwide, and is rarely effectively addressed in the Ukrainian community: the abuse of women.

Held on the morning of November 23 at UCSS's headquarters here, its panels featured a range of experts, from passionate social workers and a tough-talking provincial prosecutor, to an empathic psychiatrist. Their stark message was given additional power by the screening of a forceful video.

The conference set the stage for an airing of rarely cited statistics (e.g. about four Ukrainian women a month call the UCSS offices for help in dealing with domestic conflict) and several courageous testimonies by victims, one of whom sought support for her intention to form a support group for abused Ukrainian Canadian women.

The conference's principal organizer and chair was longtime UCSS activist and former parole officer Chrystyna Klukowskyj, who opened the proceedings from a lectern bearing a dramatic poster prepared specially by artist Anna Galkina for the occasion, a 1930s-style graphic with the conciliatory legend: "I am Human. Be my friend. Let us help each other."

"Although this issue is very painful for all of us to face," Ms. Klukowskyj said, "we must do it, for our sakes as women, for our children and for our families."

The first panelist, Olena Hankivsky, an associate of Ontario's Center for Research on Violence Against Women and Children and a lecturer in the departments of political science and women's studies at the University of Western Ontario, led off the proceedings with a bang.

Ms. Hankivsky pounded out statistics suggesting that about 154,000 of the estimated 532,000 women of Ukrainian descent in Canada have suffered physical and/or sexual abuse at the hands of their partners - in keeping with the national average projected by a 1993 Canadian governmental survey, "Violence Against Women."

Ms. Hankivsky outlined the forms of abuse visited upon women: physical, sexual, psychological, financial and spiritual - and pointed out that abuse "cuts across age, ethnicity, race, social and economic class, and level of education."

She exploded myths about abuse: that women provoke assault; that men are abused in equal proportion (police records indicate that 90 percent of domestic abusers are men); that if women don't leave an abusive situation, they assume joint responsibility for it; that it is more prevalent among lower classes and increases in periods of economic instability; that men who commit abuse are "sick"; or that abuse of substances such as alcohol "causes" assaults.

The London-based researcher listed a poignant array of hopes and fears that keep women from escaping such dire straits: expectations of improvement in behavior; a sense of responsibility for family cohesion; fear of economic loss, of ostracism, of religious sanctions, of death.

Ms. Hankivsky pointed to the paradox of persistent denial that a problem exists among Ukrainians, while folk songs describing abuse (such as "Chervona Rozha Troyaka") are routinely sung as a form of seemingly innocent cultural expression.

Later in the session, Taisa Ruzycky, a former UCSS president, provided a dramatic illustration of the community's refusal to acknowledge the problem. She told of a friend of hers who, after suffering abuse for many years, called the police and had her husband charged with assault. When she confided in her parish priest and several friends, they all shamed her for creating divisions in the community and disgracing her family. When her day in court came, she dropped all charges, Ms. Ruzycky said.

In conclusion, Ms. Hankivsky asserted that "society, and the Ukrainian community, must realize that domestic assaults on women are not simply a women's issue, but criminal acts, which destroy families, women and children."

Psychological dramas of abuse

Toronto-based psychiatrist Dr. Christina Kowalsky furthered the effort to tear down the wall of silence and secrecy that veils abuse. "Domestic assaults on women are not private acts, but have far-reaching effects on families, communities and society as a whole."

In affecting a woman's psychological condition adversely, she explained, it undermines an individual's ability to perform roles in the family, at work and in the community, and thus does harm to all of them.

Dr. Kowalsky gave a harrowing portrait of the psychological impact of domestic abuse, including pervasive thoughts of suicide (70 to 80 percent of female suicide victims suffered abuse); a sense of shame to the point of speechlessness; terrifying isolation from one's extended family and social groups.

The therapist said this sense of isolation and of victimization is often shared by children, who join in the project of hiding the shameful secret and shun their peers.

Treatment of victims often involves an arduous process of ridding them of a sense of guilt and responsibility for the assault. "The victim is not responsible for the abuse," stressed Dr. Kowalsky. "This seems simple and obvious, but not to a woman who is paralyzed by depression, isolation, shame and abysmal self-worth."

She said the first task of therapists is to establish contact with others in similar situations, and to renew former ties to family and friends.

Returning to the effects of abuse on children, Dr. Kowalsky sought to dispel the myth that it is better for children to have a father, even if they witness his assaults on their mother. The Toronto-based psychiatrist provided statistics demonstrating that emotional disturbances increase 17-fold in boys and 10-fold in girls who witness such events. She also said that children often grow to perpetuate these patterns - girls by acquiescing to abuse, boys by committing it.

Toronto Board of Education social worker Anna Seniw-Martelli outlined the various characteristics of pupils who have witnessed abuse in their homes - including lack of sociability and participation in sports, extremes in eating habits (fasting or gorging), inattention to schoolwork, being accident-prone, and expression of murderous or suicidal thoughts.

The Rev. Taras Dusanowskyj of Scarborough's Ss. Peter and Paul Ukrainian Catholic Church, appeared conscious of navigating a minefield, and did so primarily by way of oblique anecdotes, parables, general interpretations of the Bible and Church doctrine.

The Rev. Dusanowskyj cautioned against dogmatic convictions about the sacredness of every marriage and outlined the various situations in which the Church considers dysfunctional marriages null and void.

The Rev. Dusanowskyj said "even Church circles" are increasingly willing to recognize that "serious deficits in judgment in dealing with the inevitable marital rights and responsibilities... as well as an inability to consummate a marriage because of problems of a psychic character," can be reasons for annulling a marriage.

Although through most of his address the Rev. Dusanowskyj seemed squeamish about making any categorical statements, in the end he said that if caught in an abusive situation, "a woman should avail herself of all the means of salvation that God sends her," and thus should not feel constrained by a marriage whose features are pain and suffering, and therefore "in God's eyes," not a marriage.

The clergyman also revisited the placing of Adam above Eve in the Book of Genesis, saying that such a hierarchy was "not God's plan, but a result and manifestation of humanity's sin, part of its expulsion from Eden."

Ms. Klukowskyj screened "One Hit Leads to Another," a video that examined the cyclical mechanics of domestic violence - from verbal abuse to physical, followed by a "honeymoon phase" of apologies and promises to change, followed by an intensification of tension and subsequent assaults.

It dramatized the situations faced by teenage mothers, housewives, professional women, even grandmothers caught in stale, violent unions. Also on view were the trials endured by children, who, the narrator asserted, witnessed 80 percent of the assaults on their mothers.

Ms. Klukowskyj said the 15-minute film, produced by the Victoria Women's Transition House, is available for rental from a number of the city's public libraries, but must be reserved in advance as it is much in demand.

A vigorous prosecutor

After such disturbing sights, it was time to go proactive, which the next speaker, Assistant Crown Attorney Lidia Narozniak, a prosecutor with the Ontario Solicitor General's Office and a lecturer at the Ontario Police College, did with a satisfying energy. "You and your children have a right to protection from the police," she asserted. In strong confident tones, she assured the audience that the law places many tools at a victim's disposal.

The vigorous jurist asserted that both official statistics and the testimonies of the women involved indicate that levels of violence decreased dramatically after court action was pursued against an offending partner or spouse. "We aren't interested in breaking up families," Ms. Narozniak said, "We are interested in making it clear that the abuse of women is a crime."

Ms. Narozniak pointed out that in Ontario, police can and must press charges against alleged abusers whether or not the victim does so, but that the rate of recidivism (repeat offending) is dramatically lower if the women concerned pressed charges.

The prosecutor conducted her own exercise in myth-busting, taking particular aim at contradictory notions that such abuse is a new phenomenon, and that it is now less prevalent than before. While the prevalence of legally sanctioned wife-beating in many of the world's codices throughout history vitiates the former, statistics show that the incidence of domestic violence is not in decline. In fact, Ms. Narozniak said, one in five women admit to being victims of abuse, whereas the numbers are, in all probability, much higher.

Ms. Narozniak said the excuses for violence offered by the abused are often the key to its motivations. "I didn't fry his eggs properly" (an excuse given with alarming frequency by battered wives), or "I went out on a date with friends without telling him" both reveal the truth, she said: abuse is the result of a man's excessive assertion of power and control.

The myth of mental illness as a cause of abuse can be dispelled because most spousal beatings are coldly calculated, the prosecutor said, in that men inflict injury strategically, so that little evidence of it can be observed. Also, few abusers exhibit similarly violent aggression toward their colleagues at work or toward their peers at social occasions, she said.

Only by regaining self-respect and control over their own lives, the prosecutor contended, can women bring the cycle of violence to an end.

Immigration and its Catch-22

Diane Dagenais, the next speaker, a Toronto-based federal lawyer with the Canadian Ministry of Justice dealing with immigration matters, began on a reassuring note in describing the status of a "landed immigrant" or "permanent resident."

Ms. Dagenais explained that threats of withdrawal of sponsorship or deportation from a suddenly abusive spouse are without legal foundation. Once an individual has secured this status, only in extreme cases, such as conviction for a criminal offense or for false submissions on the original application, can it be stripped or a person be deported.

While most visitor visa applicants for this status must apply from outside Canada, immigration officers can make exceptions on humanitarian grounds, particularly in the case of marriage to a Canadian citizen, and also if there is a sponsor/guarantor, and if there is proof of financial self-sufficiency. The individual's application can then proceed while they are in Canada, in most cases even with permission to work.

The fairly wide window of vulnerability opens, conceded the Montreal-born lawyer, when those who have not yet obtained landed status become dependent on an abuser for "humanitarian visa" considerations, if the abuser acts as a sponsor/guarantor, or when the abusive situation cripples their ability to hold or obtain employment.

Since humanitarian visa status lapses if the spousal arrangement has gone sour, and since any receipt of governmental assistance (welfare) disqualifies any applicant for landed status or citizenship, this places an individual in a Catch-22 of no means of support, and thus the coercive power of an abuser could be very great.

In addition, Ms. Dagenais cautioned that women who have their applications submitted by prospective spouses or partners take care that these are prepared accurately and truthfully, as any false statements can lead to denaturalization and deportation.

Nevertheless, the jurist said that immigration officials can also give a "minister's permit" to remain in Canada in special circumstances, particularly such as those described above. However, Ms. Dagenais cautioned that such a permit is strictly discretionary and subjectively determined by the particular immigration officer.

Ms. Dagenais provided the number for the Toronto-area lawyer-referral service, (416) 947-3330, which provides contacts for lawyers willing to give a half-hour's free consultation to those in need, including those who are fluent in Ukrainian.

Last on the speaker's list was Anna Antoniw, holder of a degree in counseling in matters of child and spousal abuse from Toronto's George Brown College, and for five years a full-time counselor at the local UCSS branch. Ms. Antoniw has also authored pamphlets on the abuse of women. The counselor said the UCSS provides referrals to Ukrainian family lawyers, shelters, and to other government agencies and non-governmental clinics.

Ms. Antoniw outlined the range and limitations of resources available to battered women. She mentioned the ATT Language Line (which includes services in Ukrainian), the Assaulted Women's Help Line (which does not), and the Ontario Women's Directorate's listing of many (but not all) shelters for abused women.

Multicultural Women Against Rape is an agency that could, but presently does not, have a Ukrainian-speaking worker or volunteer, Ms. Antoniw said. She cautioned the potentially needy that most Canadian agencies don't provide services in Ukrainian. In Toronto, she said, there are no clinics offering service in Ukrainian, two which operate in Polish and one in Russian.

Ms. Antoniw said the provincial government's policy of deep cuts to social services have already had a significant impact on the quality of assistance provided, adding that the situation will no doubt get worse.

The counselor pointed out that while government programs providing for temporary housing and assistance to the needy give priority to battered women and their children, in practice the long waiting lists often make situations so grim that the abused return to their abusers.

The UCSS official also outlined various voluntary and court-ordered programs that exist to help men confront the reasons for their anger and change their behavior.

Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of the morning's sessions came after the official presentations, when several women stood up to recount some of their experiences at the hands of abusers.

Particularly telling was a woman from North York, who asked that her name not be used, who recounted her experiences and called on the UCSS to back her efforts to establish a Ukrainian Canadian women's support group. She received an enthusiastic response.

A handful of retired men huddled in the back of the room, ironically muttering that they were reticent to voice their more traditional views in the "feminine atmosphere." One stood up to say that the problem was rooted in "a lack of mutual respect between men and women." Another approached this writer to "let the public know that men are abused just as often, and retaliate in a manner they are familiar with."

As the conference drew to a close, Marion Barszczyk, a program manager with the Catholic Charities agency of the Toronto Archdiocese, offered a sobering note of commentary. "As good and constructive as today's session was, nobody should congratulate themselves that 'We've taken the all-important first step.' We've been taking that first step over and over for many years now. It's time to get to the next one. It's time for concrete actions, to organize effective counseling, to set up therapy groups, and conduct informative seminars in all of the Toronto area's parishes," Mrs. Barszczyk said.