NEWS AND VIEWS: Ukrainians adopting Ukrainians: caring for our next generation (04/19/98)

NEWS AND VIEWS

Ukrainians adopting Ukrainians: caring for our next generation

by Natalie Korsheniuk Pollock
Special to The Ukrainian Weekly

Why have we been put on this earth? What should we try to accomplish in our short life? How can we make a significant contribution to improving the quality of life for the following generations? How can we leave a mark?

Surely, every one of us has asked ourselves these questions at some time or other. It becomes particularly poignant as you reach the mid-30s to mid-40s in age. As a Ukrainian, I am sure you join me in asking yourself: What can I possibly do to improve the quality of life for my fellow Ukrainians now that they have their own country?

If we have not seen for ourselves, then we have certainly read about the economic hardships and medical shortages that are crippling our brothers and sisters in Ukraine. Following in the footsteps of other displaced cultures, we have begun a fledgling effort to send American dollars and medical supplies abroad. What is the price of survival for the next generation of Ukrainians? How much strength and hope can a $100 individual contribution buy?

The economic situation is so dismal there that pregnant mothers cannot afford prenatal care. Some cannot afford abortions, so they give up their babies after birth. Some put their children in orphanages on a temporary basis, with the hope that they will come back for them when they can find the money to feed and clothe them. For most, that time never comes.

Ukraine is suffering, and so are her children. Many are being born without mothers and fathers, and are growing up without stability, individual attention, without adequate food, exercise and medical care. The future of our next generation is in jeopardy. Institutionalized children are not thriving; they are not living up to their potential; they are not growing up with the feeling that they are important to anyone.

Where does our future as Ukrainians lie if not with our children? What is the meaning of our lives if not to ensure that our children grow up healthy and loved? What can we do in a significant way to help make this happen?

My family and I tried to answer these questions in a very personal way by adopting a little girl of Ukrainian parentage in Moscow two years ago. This was not a selfless act. We had been trying to have a second child for many years, but soon came to feel that time was running out. As we began to explore our feelings on adoption, and foreign adoption in particular, it suddenly occurred to me that, in this way, we could do something greater than to satisfy our goal of expanding our family. We had already been blessed with the experience of giving life to a little girl. Now we had an opportunity to share our life with a Ukrainian child, one that had been discarded.

At the time we started on the paper path toward adoption, Ukraine instituted a moratorium on foreign adoption because of an internal scandal involving the sale of babies by Ukrainian doctors. The Cradle of Hope Adoption Center committed to helping us find a Ukrainian baby in a Moscow orphanage. I brought Nina home in July 1996, and she is my child every bit as much as my 9-year-old. Nina is my flesh and blood - she is a Ukrainian like me.

When the three of us first traveled to meet Nina in Russia, none of us had ever been to the former Soviet Union. The child who was presented to us was even more malnourished and frightened than she had appeared on photos and in the video. By the time that Talia had made her new sister laugh, we knew we were committed, no matter what awaited us in making Nina ours. We have never had a moment of regret.

Adopting Nina has been the most awesome and fulfilling adventure in our lives. We are immensely grateful to Cradle of Hope for guiding us on our path. Because of their years of experience and their organizational capabilities, we were able to navigate through the morass of government requirements - theirs and ours - with a minimum of scars. They have persisted in their efforts to resurrect the Ukrainian adoption program, and now Ukraine's new laws are in place.

Families are needed now to adopt Ukrainian orphans. The new law requires that eligible children be registered on a national databank for a period of one year before they may be adopted by foreign families. Therefore, there is a huge backlog of children at least 12 months old waiting to be adopted. The process requires time, money and emotional commitment. But I ask you, who will take care of these children if we don't?

When we first embarked on this course, it seemed like such a monumental task, and there were so many unanswered questions. But the process of giving birth also is frightening and frought with unknowns - until you look into that tiny, loving face and know that this little miracle is yours. When we compare photographs of Nina then and now, we know it was worth every ounce of effort, faith and determination to make her ours. And now she can grow up feeling proud of who she is and where she came from, because she knows she is important.

Established in 1990, Cradle of Hope Adoption Center is a not-for-profit organization that arranges adoptions from Eastern Europe and China. If you are interested in learning more, please call Christine Seeba at the Cradle of Hope in Silver Spring, Md. (301) 587-4400. Their Website is: http://www.cradlehope.org/. Thousands of children are waiting for your call.

Natalie Korsheniuk Pollock is a free-lance writer who resides in Farmington, Conn., with her husband, Lee, and two daughters, Talia, 9, and Nina, 3.