EDITORIAL: Our fathers (06/17/01)

EDITORIAL

Our fathers

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters."

- 17th century English proverb.

Today is Father's Day, a day that has been celebrated in the United States since 1910, when it was first observed in Spokane, Wash. It was the brainchild of a daughter, Sonora Smart Dodd, who a year earlier had proposed the idea of a special day to honor fathers and their special gifts. Mrs. Dodd had in mind her father, William Smart, a Civil War veteran who was widowed when his wife died in childbirth with their sixth child and was left to raise the children by himself in a rural area in the state of Washington.

In 1924, 15 years after Mrs. Dodd first came up with the idea, President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day, but it wasn't until 1966 that President Lyndon B. Johnson issued a presidential proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June as Father's Day.

It is notable that Mrs. Dodd was already an adult when she realized the exceptional qualities - she cited strength and selflessness - that her father had displayed in raising his six children as a single parent. Is that surprising? Perhaps not, as many of us, we're sure, don't take the time in our busy day-to-day routines to think about all our fathers have done, what roles they play in our lives, and what we would do without them ...

Protector and breadwinner, advisor and guide, supporter and cheerleader, nurturer and educator, and yes, even disciplinarian and one who lays down the law - all these describe a father. Who else would have taught you to ice skate or ride a bike? Who else would have taken all those photos of you growing up? Who else would have convinced you that the great big dog around the corner is just a big puppy? Who else would have voiced disagreement, gently, by saying: "Do you really think it's so?" And then admonished you, loudly, when you really deserved it?

Our fathers, and our grandfathers, also are repositories of rich family history, the keepers of precious memories. They are the ones to whom we turn to explain so much in our lives, the ones who can illuminate the most unfathomable events.

And there is so much more. Indeed, fathers are so much more than their sons and daughters can ever know.

Small wonder then that children oftentimes learn salient and fascinating facts about their fathers when they least expect it, from unlikely sources at out-of-the-ordinary venues. In each of our lives, there's bound to be at least one moment of enlightenment, a recollection that crystallizes an experience: so that's why I am the way I am, so that's why I did this - I truly am my father's offspring! And what joy to realize such a connection to a grandfather!

Thus, as we celebrate this special day, we say: forget about shopping for yet another tie! (Does Dad really need, or want, another one?) Let's give all our fathers the precious gift of time - our time spent with them. Why not make some time to learn about our fathers and grandfathers, to share their past - their experiences, their emotions, their dreams? (You may be surprised, and you're sure to gain most valuable insight.)

But, most of all, let us remember to express our love to our fathers, to cherish them, to enjoy them. And to remember them - wherever they may be - on Father's Day and always.

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was."

- Anne Sexton

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