VIEWING THE ARTS: A modest proposal (12/16/01)

VIEWING THE ARTS

by Adrian Bryttan

A modest proposal

Note to the reader: Traditionally in the United States, Ukrainian communities have celebrated historic, religious and patriotic commemorations with "akademiyi" or "sviata." Usually in the past, these concerts tried to include a wide variety of the nation's best talent in order to glorify the occasion. Ukrainian Independence Day was always one of the most momentous of these observances.

Well, glory be, hallelujah! We've been shown the light and now we can believe! Had you ever noticed that a few of the performers in Lviv and Kyiv were lip-syncing to recordings during their grandiose commemorations of Ukraine's Independence? Were you awed by the high tech or by their casts of thousands? Well hang tight, for now you can check out how New York put on an unforgettable celebration of the 10th anniversary of our long-awaited nationhood and left everyone else in the dust.

No professional opera singers, violinists or pianists. No choruses. Not even a dramatic recitation by any of our talented actors. But every New Yorker who walked into the Ukrainian National Home on August 26 soon realized how obsolete all the other traditional "akademiyi" had become. The sobering certainty swept over each and every one of us. We witnessed how time had passed us by, just like the troglodytes and dinosaurs. And the simple answer had been there all along, right under our noses. When the committee in New York unveiled our own high tech along with the ingenious idea of having all the musical numbers performed by children, we finally got it. The way to the future is ... show business!

Here it was - the elixir, the Fountain of Youth. Formerly, children came to hear the practiced skills of performers. Now we were all being swept along in waves of childhood nostalgia. This reversal was breathtaking, but credit should really go to the visionaries who planned this program. It might be a while before anyone else can match this. Nonetheless, I hereby humbly submit the secrets (though not all) of our success, in the hope that they will be of some help to every other community that wants to remain au courant in these matters.

Don't allow any experienced, professional performers. On the contrary, the younger the better. For example, the grammar school ages of the two singing duos of sisters were just about right and very effective in New York. Their sing-song recitations of poems alternated with numerous salon style songs. The auditorium lit up with smiles faster than a new row of Christmas tree lights. Since this now seems to be the main goal of patriotic observances, give kids the entire stage time and make sure they have plenty of encores. (This is not a Nike or Adidas sweatshop, so child labor laws need not be a cause for concern.)

If you must present older teenagers, try to find someone as close to this charming and innocent level as possible. But a word of warning: post-pubescent artists can be problematic because the people might actually quiet down in order to hear some subtleties in their performances. Once they're in that state, the public might just get to like it and then all will be lost. You can never tell with a discerning audience.

Avoid any classic composers like Lysenko, Stetsenko, Liudkevych, etc. Their originality and uniqueness can be confusing, besides which we've all advanced far beyond the naive emotions of their compositions. (Back in 1917, the newly formed Hrushevsky government got it all wrong when they carefully planned celebrations that included "... orchestras, and mighty choral songs which stirred the sea of people." At the same time on our own shores, even the numerous smaller communities which organized similar grand and diversified observances, such as Irvington, N.J. and Elmira Heights, N.Y,. were likewise, misguided.)

This year, the organizers of the New York celebration enlightened us regarding the current modern approach. In the case of the singing siblings, the trick seemed to be to use generic melodies and arrangements you would have little trouble dancing to on a Soyuzivka evening. (Unfortunately, the "Valley River Polka" promised by another ensemble on the program was not performed.) The vocal accompaniments were also noteworthy, whether strummed on a folk guitar or generated on a synthesizer. (No need for piano rentals and tunings.) God knows which tone banks, rhythms, auto harmonized obbligatos or pop, big band, disco and funk settings were available on that keyboard. If anyone felt like dozing off, they never had a chance.

Choreography is good, but shooby-doo-wah is even better. In the 1950s the Supremes, Shirelles, Chiffons, Ronettes, Martha and the Vandellas, and countless other doo-wop groups made their fortunes with all those cool oscillations. The adolescent appeal was irresistible. Similar moves were deftly incorporated by our little vocalists in their embroidered miniskirts as they celebrated our independence. Even when a melody was titled "Holy God," their little motors kept running. And who could blame them? It might have been difficult being devotional with all those blue and yellow happy-face balloons anchored around the stage.
Keep the beer flowing, or why should street fairs and festivals have all the fun? This is probably the single crucial element for a successful celebration. At the conclusion of this year's program, one of the organizers graciously voiced a special thanks to the Obolon beer company for their support, and invited the public to free food and bottles of this amber ambrosia.

But why wait until the end? Even though it's daunting to imagine rising to New York's level, I modestly suggest that your city can even outdo the Big Apple by doling out free beer at the beginning of the tribute. (W.C. Fields lamented on a safari in Africa that "somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but bread and water.") And if your organizers decide to help transport the audience to an even higher state of nirvana by serving beer during the actual performances, charge a nominal fee. Do your bit to stimulate the economy.

(Now that we realize the errors of our past, it's rather comforting to know some things are timeless. Back in 1917, ads in Svoboda glorified the benefits of the "strengthening ingredients" in beer. The illustration of a happy drinker invited the reader to imbibe "... especially because professional mechanics need a clear head, strong nerves and confidence in all their moves." Amen to that, but I'm not sure how I'd feel driving a car after it was worked on by the guy in that ad.)

But on the other hand, what if no one worried about any of these things? Would it not be better to organize every observance so that it not only entertains but simultaneously communicates to the audience the culture, the spirit and true values of Ukraine and its people? There should be one standard for these events, no matter if it's a mega affair or a modest reading of the poet's words. If that standard were the highest possible, the presentation would be equally attractive and interesting to us as well as non-Ukrainians. And the dividing lines between substance and "entertainment" would finally disappear.

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