Soyuzivka hosts family weekend for adoptive parents of children from Ukraine (07/11/04)

Soyuzivka hosts family weekend for adoptive parents of children from Ukraine

by Andrew Nynka

PARSIPPANY, N.J. - A number of American families who had previously adopted Ukrainian children took part in a historic weekend retreat with representatives of the Ukrainian government and the Ukrainian National Association at the association's Soyuzivka resort on June 18-20.

Billed by organizers as the Adoptive Families' Weekend, the retreat had several goals, but foremost it was meant to help American parents learn more about the culture and traditions of their Ukrainian children, according to officials from the Embassy of Ukraine in Washington, Ukraine's Consulate General in New York and the UNA, who together organized the inaugural event.

"We saw that some American families have no information about Ukraine, but we also saw that they want to know [about the country]," Ukraine's vice consul in New York, Andrii Nadzhos, told The Weekly.

Martha Lysko, first vice-president of the UNA, said some 30 families, for a total of 120 people, attended the event. UNA President Stefan Kaczaraj called the event "successful" and said the resort is ready to host similar events in the future.

Many of the parents who attended the retreat and later spoke with The Weekly via telephone said they had decided to adopt a Ukrainian child because doing so was simpler and quicker than if they had tried to adopt an American child.

But such an adoption often means that an English-speaking parent and their newly adopted Ukrainian- or Russian-speaking child will have difficulty understanding one another. The situation is also complicated because of differences in culture.

Children adopted at a relatively young age assimilate into American society with ease, some parents said. However, some parents also said that children adopted in their early teens feel a strong sense of nostalgia for their native country.

Denise Evans, the adoptive parent of three Ukrainian children and the biological mother of a 10-year-old boy named Scott, drove to the weekend retreat at Soyuzivka from her home in New Jersey.

"It was nice that they cared so much to put on a weekend for us, and if they were going to do it and invite us, then I was going to go," Ms. Evans said.

Her oldest daughter Elena, 14, came from Mariupol, Ukraine, last fall and maintains a strong attachment to her homeland. Her biological sister, 10-year-old Valentyna, was also adopted by Ms. Evans, but at a younger age and "is completely American," her mother said.

Their interests are very different, Ms. Evans told The Weekly. While Elena is already thinking about a career that would involve Ukraine, perhaps working at the United Nations, Valentyna has nearly forgotten her native language and is uninterested in the country.

Though children like Valentyna may have little interest in a weekend dedicated to learning about their homeland, Ms. Evans called the retreat "absolutely a success" nonetheless.

For her children, the weekend was still an opportunity to play games, listen to stories, swim in the resort's pool and meet other kids. On the other hand, for the adults it was an opportunity to learn more about Ukraine and the Ukrainian diaspora in the United States.

"The weekend gave us a much broader perspective of what it meant to be Ukrainian in this country," said Ms. Evans, who was previously unaware of Soyuzivka but said she is now considering membership in the UNA. Guests were shown around the resort and informed about a number of Ukrainian organizations that might be of help to American parents.

Additionally, Ukrainian officials also wanted to convey an important message to the parents of adopted Ukrainian children during the weekend retreat, which was sponsored by the Selfreliance (N.Y.) Federal Credit Union.

"We wanted to inform the participants that there are a number of legislative changes in the adoption process," Mr. Nadzhos said.

Some 5,000 Ukrainian children who have been adopted by American parents now live in the United States, according to Olena Kitsiuk, a consul at the Ukrainian Embassy in Washington. Ukrainian law now requires that the parents of those children annually inform the Ukrainian government of their children's condition. According to Ms. Kitsiuk, the adopted children hold dual citizenship until the age of 18 and the Ukrainian government continues to look after their well-being until that point.

"We are very pleased that the Consulate and the Embassy are interested in seeing how the adopted children are doing," said Norma Brinkley-Staley, a parent of four biological sons and two adopted daughters.

While parents attended the seminar in the resort's library, their children swam, played games, listened to stories and drew Ukrainian flags with Stephanie Hawryluk, a long-time Soyuzivka and UNA activist.

Dinner that night in the resort's Main House included a presentation of traditional Ukrainian food prepared by Soyuzivka's staff. The evening also saw a concert with tenor Roman Tsymbala, bandurist Alla Kutsevych, and duets by four younger singers Lida and Gabriela Oros and Nadia and Natalia Pavlyshyn.

"We had a Ukrainian meal, which was fantastic," said Robert Anderson, the parent of a 7-year-old adopted son. The weekend was "a chance for the children to reacquaint themselves with Ukraine," he said.

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