COMMENTARY: Political divorce Ukrainian style (10/02/05)

COMMENTARY

Political divorce Ukrainian style

by Hryhoriy Tsipka

The soap opera of Ukrainian politics is often melodramatic and at times hilarious, but never as grand as during the week of September 11-17. It simply does not get any better.

Every possible idiotic statement made by such political dinosaurs as Leonid Kravchuk and snake oil salesmen as Yurii Boyko, the former manager of Mr. Kuchma's Naftohaz Ukrainy, and Taras Chornovil were picked up by the unscrupulous press in a frantic media fox hunt. At times I wondered if they were after the crooks in President Viktor Yushchenko's back room or out to get Yulia Tymoshenko for being a rich crooked woman, and then it dawned on me that the most important motivation for the owners of the media was to increase ratings.

Political divorces are great moments for boosting ratings in Ukraine, where the Kuchma years were, by-and-large, dull; the exception being when Leonid Danylovych Kuchma appeared to be stoned in front of a camera, it was a refreshing change.

The best performance by far was Ms. Tymoshenko's. Standing alone, a petit beautiful woman, a tiny nightingale, hurt by the evil, insensitive and burly men from Mr. Yushchenko's back room. She was marvelous. And boy did she lash out at them! She called them all sorts of funny names, and they must have cringed as they watched her performance. And did the rating jump that night! It was the most widely watched television show in the history of independent Ukraine. Viktor Medvedchuk, the well-known prince of darkness and owner of the TV station, must have racked in the bucks from that one.

I suppose it was clear from the start that there would be a divorce between Mr. Yushchenko and Ms. Tymoshenko. A match formed in front of millions of people who stand watching and freezing their backsides off does not last very long.

Most divorces are ugly events that drag on and on as does the name-calling and the recriminations. (This is common, so nobody should be shocked or surprised.) The only question was when Yushchenko-Tymoshenko would part ways.

It was fascinating to watch Mr. Yushchenko being brought down a few notches by this episode. I have always suspected he was not the idol the Orange Revolution made him out to be, and I have good reasons to believe this.

He behaved like a jerk when he signed that infamous letter in 2002 calling anti-Kuchma demonstrators "fascists."
He lied when he said that he never shook hands with Mykola Melnychenko in Washington in 2003 when about a dozen eyewitnesses saw him do it.
He surrounded himself with sleazebags and pimps, and allowed all sorts of gangsters to join the Orange people.
He took on the totally discredited Sviatoslav Piskun as his procurator general.
Last but not least, he called Mr. Kuchma last month to wish him a happy birthday.

Having said all this, I still insist that Mr. Yushchenko was then, and remains today, far better then that unreformed Viktor Yanukovych. Imagine Al Capone running for president of the United States. There you have it - that was Vitya Yanukovych.

As to the loud and glorious Orangemen's "fight against corruption" - well now, let's be reasonable. There is no need to overdo such things.

At first they arrested anyone who even spit on the sidewalk, and then they picked up some select heavies - a few were asked to die which they conveniently did - and some of the slicker ones ran off to hide behind Vladimir Putin's light blue Russian eyes or to sit it out in Florida with the FBI protecting them from terrorists. One ran off to the Promised Land, where for a few bucks he bought himself protection and a nice apartment overlooking the Sea of Galilee.

Then they rounded up the third echelon ballot fixers to show that the new regime will not tolerate such scum walking the streets. But the men who told them to rig the elections - well now, it's difficult to prove, we can't lock up everyone. And so they went free.

Then the heavies who had been arrested were released - some on bail, others just like that - the prison gates opened and they walked.

The Gongadze investigation went in the right direction at first, the murderers, all high-ranking cops, were nabbed and they confessed - but who ordered them to kill the journalist?

The answer was a blank stare from Messrs. Yushchenko, Piskun, Poroshenko and the rest. Even the head of the Parliament's committee fighting corruption, Volodymyr Stretovych, stated that the men had merely "misunderstood Kuchma's words" - it was a failure to communicate. Gongadze was simply killed in a brawl, it was unpremeditated - second-degree murder.

There was no need for Columbo to solve the crime - it was all on tape - Mr. Kuchma telling Kravchenko to kidnap Gongadze. The SBU said the tapes were authentic, the FBI lab said the same thing, as did BekTek, a private company in Virginia - and still they hemmed and hawed, and finally named a street in Kyiv after Gongadze as if to clean their rotten collective consciences, while Mr. Kuchma, the kidnapper, whooped it up in Dnipropetrovsk, hugging and kissing Yurii Yekhanurov, the prime minister to be.

As to the really big cons, the multi-million dollars deals - now these were too good to close down - so they just changed the accounts the money was going into, from Mr. Kuchma's boys to Mr. Yushchenko's guys. It was simple, clean and hardly noticeable. They were really proud of that one!

You might be wondering what the former gangsters were up to - the son-in-law, the chief of staff and all the rest? They were obviously pleased that they had gotten away free, rich and intact. Their elder statesman, Mr. Kravchuk, waved his hands on television while pointing his finger at Boris Berezovsky, a less than savory businessman, for giving money to the Orange campaign.

Now this was a coup indeed for the men who had robbed Ukraine blind over the past 14 years. Damn did they jump up and down in ecstasy. Nestor Shufrych nearly wetted himself with joy.

I can go on and on, but it is time to make a few observations:

1. Ukraine is not Leonid Kuchma, or Viktor Yushchenko or Yulia Tymoshenko, or any one person. It is an ongoing enterprise that needs time to get its act together. There will be other critical moments in the life of the country, it might stumble now and then and get up again, but as the song goes, it has not died yet.

2. There will always be crooks in Ukraine. Some will be bigger than others, but crooks nonetheless. This is part of the human condition, and for that reason there are law enforcement agencies to separate the crooks from the rest of us. They should do their jobs and not defect over to the side of the enemy.

3. Do not listen to people who spout "BS." There are too many of them, and the Ukrainian variety is very articulate and has long years of experience in this art. Just look at your own long-lost relatives from Ukraine as they descend off the airplane at JFK or O'Hare and immediately ask you to buy them a car and a few apartments.

4. Never, and I mean never, believe in the infallibility and incorruptibility of the most powerful men in any country. They did not become powerful because of their belief in justice or in God, or because they have a kind heart and love their country.

Hryhoriy Tsipka is the pseudonym of a journalist from Central Europe who recently returned from a trip to Kyiv.

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