NEWS AND VIEWS: The story of little Maksym, and how we can help others (10/08/06)

NEWS AND VIEWS

The story of little Maksym, and how we can help others

by Camilla Huk

She sits in a chair, right next to him, stroking his little head. Like every mother, with each stroke, she reminds him that "Mama loves you." "Dytyno, dytyno," she chants, as she weaves to and from. Knowing that they are from Odesa, I'd expected this beautiful, black-draped madonna to speak in Russian. (Were we not always told that's the language preferred there? But her language is such a pure and melodious Ukrainian.)

And then, as though he were a newborn, she examines his every finger. You almost forget that this is a 3-year-old boy, dressed in a "big boy's suit," with a rose at his lapel. She tells me his hands are soft, and I can see that his long lashes come from her.

Maksym's body does not fill the child's casket.

I want desperately to do something to comfort her, while hugging her. I think of pulling off my jewelry to give to this tragic figure, this mother, and realize that all the gold in the world will not comfort her in the loss of her son. "Bozhe!" she says, as she explains to me the difficulties she encountered, the sacrifices that were made to bring him to America - this land of hope, this land of miracles, for his heart surgery.

They'd tried in Ukraine, but the only chance he had to grow, to heal, was to come here, to Montefiore Hospital in the Bronx.

Olya Nesteryuk left her 12-year-old daughter with her own grandmother in Ukraine and traveled thousands of miles to save this precious child. Maksym was operated on August 21. The surgery was successful. The left side of his heart, which had overworked to compensate for his genetic heart defect, however, had become a hard muscle and could not properly operate in a fully working heart.

The hospital staff kept him on a heart lung machine until he passed. Olya called the boy's father, though they are not together, a number of times throughout the evening (nighttime in Ukraine) so that he would be part of the decision-making process. One realizes the strain of caring for an ill child challenges even the most resilient marriages.

During the final call, when together they made the decision to turn off the heart lung machine, she pressed the phone to Maksym's ear so his Dad could say good-bye. As he lay dying in his mother's arms, she felt Maksym squeeze her hand, acknowledging her whispered loving farewell.

Now he lay in the Nesbitt Funeral Home in Englewood, N.J., looking as though he had simply fallen asleep, as though his eyes would open any moment. I admonish the funeral director for making him look so natural, for it is so much harder to understand: Where is the injury? Where is the hurt? He looks perfect, and I can't help but question God: "Why?"

Visitors began to come in slowly. Bearing a heart of red carnations, Eva Holland, Olya's and Maksym's host mother from Rotary District No. 7490 Gift of Life program, brought her little dog, Chicco, with whom the boy had often played, to say good-bye. And, all this time, Olya sat by the coffin, not leaving its side until the funeral home filled with members of the Gift of Life Organization, led by George Kuzma and his wife, Kathy.

Mrs. Kuzma placed wheat from the boy's native land beside him and stayed by the mother's side, as did another Gift of Life mother, whose 16-year-old son just underwent his first heart surgery.

I remember all the miracles that the Gift of Life program had wrought in the past: children who came here for life-saving surgery and returned home in, not days, but hours, much healthier, with a hopeful future. I saw the miracles American medicine could perform on Anya, whom I met as a bent-over little girl and who left this country able to stand straight, to walk almost like anyone else.

Members of the Rotary Club started to file in, as did parishioners from Holy Ascension Ukrainian Orthodox Church in Clifton, N.J.. Lesya Paluch explains how joyful little Maksym was, how they watched him run around and how shocked everyone was to hear the news of his passing. Prayer chains were initiated by Bohdan Domaradsky, a translator for the UGoL program, who also often provides companionship, rides, tours, and other assistance to the visiting families.

Many prayed as Father Oleh Zhovnirovych, pastor of Holy Ascension, who was joined by Father Deacon Yaroslav Ikalowych, reminded us, "Jesus welcomed the little children," even from the days when he walked along the Jordan. This was the first child he would bury in his 18 years in the priesthood, Father Oleh said.

Mayor Michael Wildes of Englewood sent his representative to this little boy's funeral, and Michael Celuch came from the Self Reliance (N.J.) Federal Credit Union in Clifton. Gloria Chancellor, district governor, District No. 7490 of the Rotary Club, which had supported Maksym's surgery, also came to express condolences.

When Mr. Kuzma picked up Olya and Maksym at the airport when they first arrived, they met a woman whom they befriended, who was returning from a trip to Ukraine to the U.S. where she now lives. The woman provided Mr. Kuzma with her phone number so that he could let her know Maksym's condition. When he called to tell her of Maksym's passing on August 28, she came down all the way from Connecticut to give comfort to Olya.

There were Fourth Wavers who came to support their own, and there were many not of Ukrainian descent in attendance. Most of them were from the Rotary Club. Olya would know that the arms of God stretch far and wide.

There is much paperwork that needed to be completed to allow Maksym to be returned to Ukraine, but returned accompanied by his mother, whose feat in bringing him here was as challenging as climbing Mount Everest. But she did all she could; "Mama loves you, Maksymchyk."

* * *

I don't know how to comfort a mother who has suffered such a great loss, but I do know that we need to find a way to bring these children here sooner, before it's too little, too late. These are our children. We must give them more than hope. We must give them life.

We can help.

Ukrainian Gift of Life which just celebrated its 10th anniversary in the United States and in Ukraine has saved the lives of over 300 children. They have undertaken to train medical professionals from Ukraine in U.S. protocols, thereby enhancing the experience. UGoL has shipped equipment and consumables to Ukraine to upgrade technology.

It has refurbished a Post-Operative Care Unit and Pediatric Ward at Lviv Surgical Center, where it supports most of the surgeries it sponsors in Ukraine so that younger children can be helped. In that way, cases like Maksym's will potentially be corrected sooner so that complications do not arise.

But UGoL can do more if we help. Visit the organization's website: www.UGoLinc.com. Mail a check to Ukrainian Gift of Life Inc., 233 Rock Road; Glen Rock, NJ 07452. Call and offer your help: 201-652-4762.

Join me in saving these children!

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