Alexander J. Motyl, a Rutgers University political science professor, respected political columnist, artist and novelist, recently authored “Vovochka: The True Confessions of Vladimir Putin’s Best Friend and Confident.”
Vovochka is a tale of two friends named Vladimir, two “Vovochkas” (the Russian diminutive of Vladimir), one of whom becomes a slavishly adoring friend, story narrator and acolyte, the other, Vladimir Putin, the unopposed dictator of Russia.
The story begins when the two Vovochkas, junior KGB officers on assignment in East Germany during the Cold War, meet and strike up a friendship that evolves into a lifelong mutual pledge. “Tovarishchi forever,” whispers Vovochka…” “Comrades na vsegda,” replies his faithful Sancho.
For them, the collapse of the Soviet Union was truly “the greatest catastrophe” in history. “One day we were the vanguard of the working class,” bemoans the acolyte, “the next day we were the underpaid employees of Pizza Hut.” Capitalism in Russia wasn’t working.
Mikhail Gorbachev proved to be a great disappointment to the two Soviet loyalists, while the traitor Boris Yeltsin was “an agent of the CIA, Mossad, MI-6 and the Bundesnachrichtendienst,” a drunkard who “made no effort to hide the fact that he was on Washington’s payroll.”
Disillusioned and depressed but still committed to socialism, the two Vovochkas seek a new identity, a reason to go on living. The messianic role of Holy Russia provides the answer. “It was during this time,” explains the faithful acolyte, “that we came to appreciate that our socialism was made of the same cloth as our Russianism. …we realized that we were socialists because we were Russians… It is a well-known fact that the bourgeois press is determined to portray the defenders of socialism in the worst possible light. We expect nothing less from them. Imperialist and fascist ‘scholars’ – especially those, such as the Orwellian ultranationalist scribbler of a slanderous column, ‘Ukraine’s Orange Blues,’ from the reactionary diasporas of the so-called ‘captive nations’…”
“The Lord created many nations, but only one was chosen to be a bearer of civilization,” the junior Vovochka proclaims. “The Russian people deserve nothing but the best form of rule, precisely because they have always been true to democracy and freedom… We Russians are Orthodox, and Orthodoxy is necessarily Russian. Moscow was once the Third Rome. It is high time for it to become the Fourth (and final!) Rome…, Russia, as the embodiment of all that is the best in the human race, cannot and will not be defeated…, Nationalism, authority and Orthodoxy; these are, were, and always will be the sole guideposts for our activity.”
In one of his letters to his faithful acolyte, Vovochka Putin labels America the great Satan. “It is not just that the Americans are imperialists, capitalists and racists… they are the most profound example of the civilizational malaise that has overcome the world today… Their crude materialism, their complete indifference to matters of the soul are just not provisional problems that wise leadership can eradicate. No, these qualities are the very core of the American psyche… We are Christ, and the Americans are the Antichrist.” Conclusion? American decadence must be stopped from contaminating the civilized world.
What about Ukraine, a.k.a. “Little Russia? At present, Ukraine is a problem,” explains Putin, “But imagine that its so-called revolutions continue. Imagine they spread. Need I say more?”
All was going according to Vovochka’s plan for Ukraine until “the treachery of the Little Russians,” explains the acolyte. “Abetted, encouraged, funded, supplied – in a word created – by the imperialist secret services, the orange fascists stormed the ancient streets of Kiev [sic] and unleashed a reign of mad terror against Ukraine’s democrats… They imposed their peasant dialect on the language of the great Lenin, the great Pushkin, the great Dostoevsky… In Little Russia, things are different. The people are backward. They still smell of hay and manure… The Ukrainians are turning away from Holy Russia and seeking to align themselves with the decadent West.”
“It is a well-known fact that Little Russians understand only the knout,” asserts the acolyte. “And the whip,” Vovochka smiles broadly. “But we shall teach them to remember who the master is and who the serf is… It is high time for Russia to rule the world, and is also high time for the republics to abandon their games of independence.”
Vovochka, maintains Dr. Motyl, “consists only of fictional characters, fictional situations, fictional dialogues.” Or so he says, tongue in cheek.
One reviewer called the entire book “parody” and noted, “The results are hilarious and often revealing of how the old Soviet mindset lives on.” Perhaps, but for me, Vovochka drips with veracity, with the truth of today’s Russia, of not the Soviet mindset but the mindset of Holy Russia. The reader is left with the impression that, even though the events and dialogue might not have occurred exactly as portrayed, there is enough authenticity to the thoughts and behavior of the two Vovochkas to make it all very plausible… and very chilling. Nothing funny here.
Anyone familiar with the history of Russia knows that it was an empire from its inception; tsars and commissars were forever concerned about a near-abroad that was always expanding; the Russian Orthodox Church was a willing partner in the imperialist narrative – inventing the concept of Moscow as the Third Rome to justify its moral sellout. The foundational ideology of Russia, under the tsars as well as under the commissars, was Narodnichestvo (nationalism), authority and orthodoxy. The people called themselves “Great Russians,” as compared to “Little Russian” Ukrainians.
Mr. Putin’s Russia has changed little. Holy Russia is back in vogue. The tsar has returned from the grave. Only a miracle can prevent Russia and its people from sliding back to its deep-rooted ways.
One more thing, dear reader. The orange and blue cover of “Vovochka” was rendered by the author of the “infamous” “Ukraine’s Orange Blues” column. Isn’t that just too cool?
“Vovochka” is available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.